RoundsHospice and palliative care
Día de los Muertos and grief: remembering someone who died this year
How Día de los Muertos can hold a family’s grief, especially the first year: the ofrenda and what goes on it, visiting the grave, including children, and when to reach out for support.
Listen to this note
For many families, Día de los Muertos is the most natural way to remember someone who is gone. If someone in the family died this year, the first ofrenda can bring joy and sorrow at the same time. Both belong. This note is for families facing their first Día de los Muertos in grief.
A celebration of remembering
Día de los Muertos is celebrated November 1 and 2 in Mexico and Central America, and more and more among Latino families in the United States.1 It honors and remembers the lives of loved ones who have died.1 Families welcome the souls of adults on November 1, and the celebration ends at dusk on the 2nd.2
The ofrenda
The ofrenda is a temporary altar made of mementos, photographs and belongings of loved ones, to honor and remember their lives.1 Many hold cempasúchil, the marigolds said to guide souls home; candles for hope and faith; water for the returning soul’s thirst; pan de muerto; the person’s favorite foods and drinks; and papel picado.2
The first ofrenda
Building an ofrenda for someone who died recently can be overwhelming. There’s no right way: it can be large or simple, at home or at the grave, this year or next. Choosing the photo, cooking their favorite dish or telling stories while the altar comes together can be a way to talk about them when words are hard.
Visiting the grave
Many families clean, repair and decorate graves, bring food, light candles and sometimes play music in the cemetery.2 If the grave is far away or the family can’t go, an ofrenda at home serves the same purpose.
Children
Invite children to help: choosing a photo, placing the flowers or drawing a picture for the ofrenda. Answer their questions simply and truthfully. Watching adults remember with love teaches them that we can miss someone and keep going.
When grief is heavy
It’s normal for special days to bring the pain back. If your loved one was on HealthView hospice, our bereavement team keeps supporting the family; call us. If the pain becomes unbearable or you’re thinking of harming yourself, call or text 988 any hour, and press 2 for Spanish.3
Questions families ask
Can we set up an ofrenda the first year?
Yes. There’s no rule; each family decides when and how, and it can be simple.
What goes on an ofrenda?
Photos and mementos of the person, and often marigolds, candles, water, pan de muerto, favorite foods and papel picado.12
What if it’s too sad?
That’s normal. If your loved one was on our hospice, our bereavement team can be with you.
Sources
Sources 3 references
- Smithsonian, “Smithsonian Snapshot: An Altar for the Dead,” October 31, 2014, via Newswise. newswise.com (opens in a new tab)
- Jordy Samuels, “Day of the Dead,” World History Encyclopedia, September 29, 2025. worldhistory.org (opens in a new tab)
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988 any hour; press 2 for Spanish. 988lifeline.org (opens in a new tab)
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